Stephanie Karas

Autophobia

The home is not a safe space: alone,
I’m a gasoline engorged campfire, a ruminant

obituary of emergency. Calendars are a terminal
of arrivals and departures; the aftermath,

a popped blue balloon. I feel myself become
the dirt-sprinkled gum on the bottom

of everyone's shoe, but I have all the desolate
dependency of a caged canary. I am sugar

dissolved into vinegar upon exit. Fermented
in fear, I feel the spike of albumin climbing,

the twinge of a door unlocking, cold whispers
of a house unsettled. Offer the constellation

of apology for late night speed dials, hours of comforting
silence as a ripped safety net, pretend I am not

a swelling vortex, a clogged drain.

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Stephanie Karas is a Lewis University graduate and the former Managing Editor for Jet Fuel Review. Her work has appeared in The Antigonish Review, Disquiet Arts, Creative Communications, 30 N, Lewis Voices, Quirk, Full House Literary, Wrongdoing Magazine and elsewhere. Currently, she is pursuing her master's degree in clinical mental health counseling and working as a graduate assistant in her school's writing center.